What's Been Going on

Well now it's been a while. I've been meaning to blog here because it keeps me sane but I've been lazy. Summer is pretty much over and I didn't go on vacation or do anything spectacular but there has been some small changes in my life.

Before I say what those changes are, I want to admit that I really wish that someone would tell you what to expect once you are done with college. I feel like I've been in limbo for the past year. I was video-chatting with a bestie last night and she was doing a job she ultimately realized wasn't for her. She said it made her want to hurry up and go to school just so she can change direction. I told her that I feel like young people are sold the idea that college is the world, but no one says what to expect after. We are taught to be entitled to things because we possess a certain knowledge, or went to a certain school with a certain degree, coupled with the fact that there are pressures from family and others around you-- when you don't get those things you feel like a failure. And I had been feeling that for a while, that I needed to just settle for something in order to make things easier, or at least appear that I got somewhere. I knew I was going to be unhappy the moment I made the decision but I wanted to be taken seriously as a twenty-something. I've gotten rid of that, but now I'm learning not to settle while remaining humble--I work hard but that doesn't make me entitled to jack shit. No one has to care but me, as the universe has proven over and over again. Also, I read this article from Clutch called "The Quarterlife Crisis is Real" which was perfect timing to understand my feelings as a young 20-something.

With that being said, I'm much happier these days. I'm writing more creatively, some of which I post on my Tumblr. I'm working on writing a feature screenplay based on my undergrad thesis film which I may post on here if you folks are interested. I want to write a book--either a collection of short stories or poems I haven't decided yet. I'm exercising and cooking again which is fun. I've found myself addicted to watching Misfits and Mad Men as I await Dexter's return (and I heard the Boondocks is coming back #joy!) I have no money but I pay my bills and save the little I can. I've already decided that I am going to grad school next fall, I found the school and program and am pretty excited (just need to finish this application!) I've been decent with keeping contact with family and friends and Mr. Smooth and I are doing pretty well. And I'm enjoying meeting new people--some I don't mind never seeing again and others who's company I have enjoyed. I've also decided that I identify as a Womanist instead of a straight up feminist, and I will explain why in another post.

I'll be updating more often. For now, it's time to enjoy my lunch--vegetarian chili (made with black and red beans) with cornbread, leftovers from the other night. Drop me a line folks!