How-To Dating Movies: Sheer Annoyance

When I was a teen, my Nana thought it would be a grand idea if my female cousins and I were to read He's Just Not That Into You. Yes, I am aware that it is a movie and I've avoided seeing it simply because of this connection with my grandmother. Nana concluded that since we were around the "dating" age and although she did not agree with dating (or sex before marriage) she was adamant about all of us being prepared for the decisions we would make in understanding today's men. Yes, my cousins and I were into seeing boys at the time but we had no interest in reading this book let alone with my grandmother, who frequently gave sex talks at inconvenient times (while guests were around, while eating dinner). And this particular time we could not escape her because we were stuck in the mountains upstate New York on my family's property in farm country, about one hour away from civilization in both directions.

So we read the book because it was her way of discussing with us on what to expect from males. And how we should not waste our time with those who really had no interest because there were many out there. And while telling us she would prefer if we married Muslim men, they would still be men at the end of the day. At around that time I thought I already figured out through my cousins and my male friends what guys wanted: light-skin women with long straight hair, light eyes, and to give them sex whenever they wanted. I had already ruled myself out so therefore I ignored the contents of the book. I was making peace with being "un-datable" as these books written by men seem to get at. (Women-folk need to get it together!)

Now about Steve Harvey's book, Act Like a Lady Think Like A Man. My grandmother had mentioned it to me when it first came out and I successfully ignored her. I just wanted the book to stay out of my life. But now it's going to be a movie, and casting is being confirmed left and right. I guess I'm just so out of touch with being told what to do by people who don't know me (and I'm in a relationship) that this annoys me. I've heard the actual book is a great read and a lot of black women live by it. I feel like even if I was single I would not give two fucks about this. I guess because I'm incredibly crass, I ask my guy friends, cousins, and even Mr. Smooth about the thinking of men. And I learned that they aren't all the same. Just like women aren't all the same. Amazing right?

Anyway, I'm sure the movie will be a light romantic comedy of whatever. And although Gabrielle Union is said to be in it, I probably will avoid it.