LGBTQ People Are Not A Threat

"Why Did I Get Married 2" Why Did I watch this movie??

I had posed this question semi-jokingly on facebook about a week ago when I finally sat down to watch. I had heard it wasn't as decent as the first one, but I really try my hardest to give Tyler Perry a chance and this one was actually quite terrible to me. It was all over the place and too much going on and had a weird ending. I always have hopes he can do better, but his movies just seem to disappoint me all the time, even when the storyline sounds appealing. Sigh...



So, one of the many quizzical parts of the film was addressed in an article I read on Racialicious, describing the problematic scene when Janet Jackson's character arrives at the office of her soon-to-be-ex husband (played by Malik Yoba)...

"She ushers in a giant cake that is rolled in as her husband uncomfortably watches his employees sing him “Happy Birthday” on his wife’s request....After the “birthday” serenade is over Pat gives the order and a skinny black man, dressed in glittery skin tight spandex, and a loud lollipop colored wig emerges from the cake working it better than Marilyn Monroe might have. Here Pat accuses Gavin for being a “bitch” by trying to steal money he did not earn, and one assumes the “bitch” in this metaphor just popped out of the cake. One has to assume this, otherwise why the show?"Source

Honestly my issue with that scene was that I didn't get the point. Was the "gay" black man supposed to be an embarrassing threat? The scene certainly wasn't funny, it made me and Mr. Smooth rather uncomfortable because there really was no reason for it other then to be seemingly insulting.

There's another interesting connection. So Same-sex marriage is now legal in New York, not just recognized. I listened to the Republican Senator, who was the last vote needed to past the legistlation discuss in a nutshell that it was a right not to be confused with personal opinion or beliefs. The following day, I had brunch in Brooklyn with a friend and her fiance. She asked me if I had heard about the legislation and I said yes. She shrugged--pretty sure she didn't care but knew I did.

Her fiance shook his head and said that he didn't agree with the decision, because marriage was between a man and a woman because that's what his religion said. I told him marriage was a civil matter that afforded rights and protection to partners. He replied that they should be allowed to be together but not marriage. The topic changed slightly to religion, and I mentioned an aunt of mine who was gay up until seven years ago when she became a Christian minister and denounced the "lifestyle" and took every moment one summer to tell us that she was "cured" and a better person. He asked me if I believed she wasn't actually gay anymore--and I revealed to him the personal aspect of the situation (can't go into detail) that boiled down to with legal protection of possessions and what not. He honestly had no idea that partners could be denied hospital visitation because they aren't "family" in any legal sense, or had no right to property should one of them die and that children could be taken away. And that them "having a right to be together" according to him didn't mean LGBTQ had a right to be recognized.

His face dropped. Really?? They can't see each other in the hospital? Their family can take their shit?
I nodded. He suddenly shook his head and turned to my friend. Do you hear this? Then they should be allowed to marry.
Right, I said. And suddenly my mimosa tasted even better...

Later that day I met up with my friend who happens to be gay, and I mentioned the story to him, and that I thought that people are just really ignorant and that there's too much rhetoric about "threats" to the institution of marriage when it's merely a legal thing. I had put a human face to the situation that other "straight" people think they can distance themselves from, or dismiss because of their religion. I'm a straight person, so I'm obviously just an outsider looking in, so I've only seen the pain of my fellow LGBTQ folks, some of them family and some very good friends. Their sexual identity is not a threat to anyone's well being and I wish more understood that.

And for some reason the same-sex marriage debate made me a lot more pro-marriage then I thought. I didn't care so much before. I had an incident in the hospital with Mr. Smooth before where I had to take him to the emergency room. No I'm not his wife but they were nice enough to still allow me to be in the room in one instance, and in another they didn't want me in the room and wanted a relative and legally I had no right to be with him--but I made a big stink about it. I know because we're a heterosexual couple, I had that privilege. Same-sex people they could ignore. And now there's a law at least in my state that will protect them from other people's prejudices and biases.

I remember when I was a young teen, my stepfather frowned at seeing a gay couple on TV. Why are they trying to make this happen? he said. You're a homophobe, I told him. No, he replied. Homophobia means I'm afraid of gay people. I'm not afraid of them. I don't like them. Silly me actually considered this word play, but now I know that homophobia IS a fear of LGBTQ folks--because it somehow threatens a straight person's sexuality. If it wasn't a threat, you would not care and just see a same-sex couple together as simply a couple and nothing more.